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Subject: two things By: RanmasGirlKM Date: 03/08/2002 07:21:48 am PST Hey I'm the mod at the cutest now so please visit that site a lot pleaaaaaaase PLUS if you vote for Ranma, Akane and Ryoga then it'll help so I can vote here instead of just tieing them all back up. Subject: New Reviews By: Jiggy Date: 05/26/2002 05:40:38 pm PST (You'll find one of these messages in one of the top boards of each section, so if you've already seen this, go ahead and ignore it.) Just reviewed today: Ah My Goddess! OAV Irresponsible Captain Tylor OAVs Sailor Moon S: Hearts In Ice Sailor Moon SuperS These are, of course, just four of nearly two dozen anime reviews by me! To see the rest, just check the bottom of each review, where I've conveniently listed all anime I've reviewed. *^_^ And if you find my reviews helpful, please give them good ratings (the buttons are down at the bottom of my reviews)! Thank you! *^__^ Subject: Favor By: SmallPinkMouse Date: 08/26/2003 03:04:57 pm PST Disclaimer Ranma, Shampoo, and Akane are all the intellectual, legal and moral property of Miss Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement of her rights to these characters is intended. Anti-Akane warning Whatever the merits of Akane, Ukyo or Kodachi may be, this story is written from Shampoo's point of view rather than theirs. A woman in love does not always view her rivals in a kindly light. This is true of men as well. Favor By Small Pink Mouse Shampoo knew that she should have taken that beautiful dress home in a box instead of wearing it but it could not be helped! She wanted to show it off to the world and model it for her Dad and taste, just a little early, the glory that would surely be hers when she was the cynosure of all eyes on that Night of Nights. Of course there was also another reason, a pragmatic one, one that she did not even want to *think* about, for wearing her nice, white, fluffy prom dress home instead of carrying it safe in the box, but that was a reason that she was happy to thrust from her mind. And truthfully? That was not hard to do. For dresses that are all delicate and lacey and white are very, very hard to clean, and even harder to keep clean while worn, so that each step Shampoo took was now an exercise in ki ("Ki! Not qi, not chi, but ki!", sheautomatically reminded herself) to keep herself from sweating, to force random dust particles aside, to keep away anything and *everything* that might be a threat to this dainty and delicate prom dress for the glorious night ahead. But ki, a word that can be used to describe "energy" or "breath" or "life" is, however you define it, a resource with *very* definite limits and, by the time she reached the shortcut she could feel that hers was beginning to run low. She *might* make it if she took the long way, or she *would* make it if she took the shortcut. And so, knowing that this would put her away from the dubious protection of witnesses, (and knowing that it would probably be better to settle what needed to be settled away from Ranma's sight!), Shampoo entered the vacant lot where the shortcut began. In spite of the squalor of the background through which she passed, progress was rapid and more than made up for the heightened ki expenditures she had needed to keep her fluffy, lacy, delicate, white dress pristine and she was almost home free when she encountered *it*, *they*, and *Her*. *It* was an evil, fetid, open sewer across which a reasonablysecure 2 by 4 wooden board lay. The cool depths of the liquid foulness would be quite shallow to any human who didn't care what happened to her clothes, but were of just such a depth as to be certain death to any kitten unfortunate enough to fall within. One splash and the feline's body would never be seen again. This was an unhappy reflection for *They* had begun to close in on her from all sides. *They* were the Martial Arts Eurythmic Gymnastics Team of Furinkan High all of whom were rumored to have competed more often in back alleys than in gymnasiums until the day they found that a Black Rose might have thorns. The high school rumor mill had it that that they considered themselves to be in debt to a ruthless, powerful martial artist of violent reputation, and that rumor would seem to be correct to judge by the presence of *Her*! Herself was Akane Tendo, dressed like the Queen of Grunge, and with Shampoo's blood in her eye. Worse than that, or the nail that was driven through the Louisville Slugger in her left hand, was the One Pint water pistol that she had in her belt and the H2O water balloon in her right hand. But bad though these things were, far worse was the way her feet were planted on the board that Shampoo would have to cross. "Think you're going somewhere, bimbo?" demanded Miss Tendo as she spat out a large was of chewing gum (She'd wanted to use chewing tobbaco for this moment but Kasumi wouldn't let her. She hoped desperately that the gum would allow her to project the same level of "tough"). Shampoo inhaled and began her construction of "The Soul of Ice". "Anything Goes" taught victory through improvisation but the essence of Amazonian Martial Arts was that all combat took place within the mind. Defeat an opponent's body, Cologne had whispered and ascendency would be yours only until he'd licked his wounds and was ready to try again. Truly defeat him within his own mind and the ascendency would be yours for as long as you wished in any form you chose. It was a philosophy that had held an empire at bay for more than 3000 years. So Shampoo glared and *tried* to project an aura of menace. In any previous confrontation she had been the undisputed winner and normally this shared memory between the girls would have put force into Shampoo's unspoken threat. But it is an unfortunate fact that while dainty, delicate, fluffy, frilly, lacey, pristine white dresses are very dear to a female's heart for many reasons credibility in a brewing street fight is not among them. Clad in the very essence of soft and yielding feminity Shampoo looked and felt like a dainty princess casting silent pleas for mercy to a female chieftain of snarling barbarians. And the barbarians weren'thaving any! Under other circumstances, there was no doubt as to who would win a fight between these two on this occasion either, but the reasons that victory would have been Shampoo's were no longer in place. The legs that were 2 inches longer than Akane's were hampered by skirts so that victory would no longer be hers. The arms that were an inch longer than Akane's and allowed a superior reach were hampered by delicate fabric that Shampoo feared would rip. Superior strength was neutralized by the fact that Akane now had the strength of three other women to draw upon. And worst of all, *no matter who won the dress was going to lose*! To judge by her predatory smile Akane was aware of that as well. *And the gymnastics team was coming closer!* In a burst of anxiety her hand reached down to rub a phantom bottle of Formula 411 that she desperately wished she had on her person now. Suddenly the gymn team stopped in their tracks. So!, thought Shampoo, perhaps the rumor mill has worked in more than one direction? Experimentally, she smiled at the nearest gymnast. That girl turned pale and almost took a step back before scowling and holding her position. But neither she nor the other girls took any steps further forward either, and all looked indecisively for their cue to a suddenly rattled-looking Miss Tendo. Hmmmph!, thought Shampoo, now I wonder just how much *that* tale has grown in the telling, particularly considering that one absurd rumor about how Ukyo had dueled with Ranma on top of a giant grill that had been disguised as a boxing ring or the even sillier story of how the St. Hebreke's Eurythmic Gymnastics team would get underneath a wheeled match ring in order to move it around in a way that would give their captain an advantage. There obviously had to have been some exageration for a little mindwipe or two to scare them like that! Shampoo considered the clouded expressions of her opponents. Now, if ever was the time, for the moment was hers though not yetthe field. She could tell by their stance that while their reason might be clouded their battle instincts were still clear. This must be the instant that she would act or those instincts would assert the reality of the situation and she would be lost. And all would depend on her ability to reason with a woman who had chosen to put reason aside. But this wasn't as if she was dealing with Link and Pink, Shampoo reminded herself. Akane *would* be amenable to logic should it be presented to her in the proper manner. So be it!, Shampoo decided. "Besides," Shampoo cheered herself out loud, "Shampoo's been Dr. Tofu's nurse and Apprentice for six months now, so Shampoo should be used to explaining complex subjects to simple minds." "W-who is simple-minded?", demanded the girl who'd previously turned pale, but this time she stood her ground unlike the other two who were taking a step back. "You is for letting Akane talking you into this!", Shampoo said without taking her eyes from Miss Tendo, "But no worry, Shampoo let Alpha-dummy explain everything to Beta-dummies when this is done!" She took a delicate step towards Akane, who braced herself for combat. Then a second step. Akane turned pale and visibly prepared an attack. And then, Shampoo lifted the hem of her skirt and curtsied. "Miss Tendo may I ask a favor of you?", Shampoo asked in a supplicant's voice. Akane stared as though her brain had just been whipsawed. The Japanese language has four levels of politeness and Shampoo's insistance on always using the second, the one that implied equality between speaker and spoken to, had often jarred upon the Japanese ear the way that always talking in the third person might jar upon the ear of the native English speaker. This was a trait of Shampoo's that was legend. That she should be using the fourth level of politeness in a speech, the one that implied that an inferior was talking to a superior, to *Akane Tendo* of all people!, was the sort of thing that might have boggled a more flexible mind than Akane's. "Wha-what kind of favor do you want?", Akane heard her voice say bemusedly. "Most gracious lady, this most unworthy supplicant would appreciate it if your most worthy self would ditch that stupid water balloon, holster that equally stupid water pistol and let Shampoo depart in peace both for now and for the next twelve hours." Akane blinked as she heard the request. "Because if you do *anything* of the sort that you are obviously thinking of, then this insignificant worm who grovels at your feet would find it necessary to scratch out your eyes, tear off your face, permanently mindwipe you to the point that staring at pretty, pretty lights and playing with your toes is the highest intellectual activity that you are capable of, and then physically *destroy* you!" Akane blinked again. "And then your father come cry at me and that would be a big hassle. Then Yakuza-girl come to laugh at you when you down so that Shampoo get mad on your behalf, and feel obliged to rip out her lungs, and that would be big hassle too as well as messing up my fingernail polish. And that would make your father come cry at me again which would be a real drag. But worst of all would be the reproachful looks that your oldest sister would give me, because an admonishing look from Miss Tendo is the sort of thing that leave any woman with a conscience paralyzed with guilt and self-reproach for at least a dozen years. And that is very much the sort of thing that can ruin even the happiest of nights." Akane's manner remained impassive. "But underneath all that angst would be question that would nag at Shampoo's mind for the rest of the evening as well as for the next 13 evenings to come. If Akane do this to a friend like Shampoo what should I do in return to a friend like her? More importantly, what should this poor, unimaginative, naive, and helpless weakling do for amusement fourteen days from now *when it's Prom Night at Furinkan High*?" Akane, who had her own ideas of what Shampoo really would and would *not* do, turned pale. A bead of persperation formed upon her brow. "And as you can doubtless appreciate," continued Shampoo, "All this violence and all this angst and all this reflection upon angst to come and all these nagging questions would all be a shadow on my own enjoyment of tonight's date with Ranma at *my* High School Prom which I would not see initiated in a hundred years! But Akane? Once sad events were set in motion a lowly wretch like myself would no longer feel that she has free will so ultimately these events are under the control of the gracious lady which is yourself. May I implore you once more to let me depart in a peace to last between us for the next twenty-four period that extends to leaving Ranma and Ranma's stuff alone for that period as well?", Shampoo concluded. Akane scowled. "You'd said twelve hours before!" Shampoo's head remained bowed but the corners on her mouth turned upward in spite of her best efforts. "That was before Shampoo remembered that you might have a prom dress too!" Akane spat and stepped aside. "Some bimbos would rather talk than fight!", she said with contempt as she dropped the weapons to the ground. Shampoo, bowed across with a sarcastic flourish by Akane, walked across daintily with head held high, and a haughty manner that concealed completely the frantic itching between her shoulder blades. Once she was completely across she turned about and favored Akane with an exceptionally sweet smile that caused Akane's scowl to deepen. Upon Shampoo's departure Akane continued to track her movements in silence. As she watched, the Amazon seemed to pause where a giant grid iron, fenced off like a boxing ring, lay across her path in order to enter into earnest negotiations with a garbage can from which a giant spatula protruded while a oddly ambulatory mailbox and a figure in black pajamas circled from behind. Miss Tendo's eyes flicked further west to take in the sight of a giant gymn ring labeled "St. Hebreke's" that also moving to block Shampoo's path to the loud squeek of unoiled wheels. As she did so she heard a reproachful voice from behind say, "Chic-ken!" Akane whirled to confront the bravest of the Furinkan gymnasts, grateful for this new outlet for her frustration. "What?" she demanded, "Like I can't do a favor for a friend?" The End Afterword My thanks to Meeka Chan for having pre-Read this. ^_~ Page 1 of 1 | ||||||||
