Ranma & Akane

Ratings:Top:Anime:Best Of:Best Couple:Ranma & Akane

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Ranma & Akane
Dance and Sing today.

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Ranma & Akane
.

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Ranma & Akane
Enjoy the Dark.

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Ranma & Akane
^___^

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Ranma & Akane
BTW, yesterday Nyssia and I finally went to see Pirates#2. Capsule review: Definitely worth seeing! ^_^

3 things worth noting. Voodoo girl is cool and the Commodore rocks. And this one ends on a cliffhanger so it you go and see it you will definitely want to see Part#3 as well. ^_~

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Ranma & Akane
We went to see it, it wsa so great but the cliff hanger was a killer.

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Ranma & Akane
.

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Ranma & Akane
Good Morning.

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Ranma & Akane
Good Morning.

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Ranma & Akane
Good Night

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Ranma & Akane
.

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Ranma & Akane
Hi there, I hope everyone has a great weekend. We're suppose to have 93 degrees today and next few days.
It must be our summer here.

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Ranma & Akane
I don't know how accurate it was but one tempeture thing down in Redmond said it was 103 today ugh.

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Ranma & Akane
.

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Ranma & Akane
Have fun today.

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Ranma & Akane
For lovers of the ridiculous. Some old, few new, all stupid ...



A monkey got in a bath and went "ooh! ah! ah! ah!" (monkey noises...)
The other monkey said "Why don't you put some cold water in?"


Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrr.


How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb?
Juan.


Person 1: Knock knock.
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Control freak.
Person 1: Now you say "control freak who?"


What do you call a guy with a shovel stuck into his head?
Doug.
What do you call a guy without a shovel stuck into his head?
Douglas.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interr--
Moo.


A bass drum and a cymbal fall out of a tree.
Ba dum dum CHING!


What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.


What's grey?
A melted penguin.


What's brown and sticky?
A stick.


What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen.
What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg longer than the other?
Irene.


A guy walked into a bar and said, "Ow!"


Why did the blonde go to church?
[Stretch arms out to sides] She heard there was a guy in there hung like
this.


Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well...


How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
He felt his presents.


How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
LET'S RIDE BIKES!


A boat carrying blue paint and a boat carrying red paint collided in the
middle of
the ocean. What happened to the crew?
They were marooned.


Two peanuts are walking down the street. One was assaulted.


Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!


What did the snail say when he was riding on the tortoise's back?
Wheeeeeeeeee!


What do you call an Irishman who looks forward to the Spring?
Paddy O' Furniture.


Did you hear who won the Bangkok marathon?
I heard it was a Thai.


What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.


What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Damn.


What is E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.


There once were two skunks; one named 'In" and one named 'Out." When Out
was in, In
was out, and when Out was out, In was in. One day, Out was in and In was
out, and
Mother skunk said 'Out, I want you to go out and bring In in." Out
quickly went
outside and almost immediately returned with In. Mother skunk was AMAZED
and gasped
"How did you DO that so quickly?"
"Easy," said Out. "In stinked."


Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer and a mop."


What did the slug say to the snail?
"Big Issue, mate?"


What d'you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, dude!


How many dull people does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.


Did you hear that Rene Descartes disappeared? It seems he strolled into
a bar and the
bartender asked, "Hey, Descartes, do you want a marguerita?" to which he
replied, "I
think not."


How do crazy people go through the forest? They use the psychopath.


"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that."


What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.


So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog died."


WWJD?
JWRTFM


A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender:
"I'll have a brandy...........................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..............................................................
..........and coke."
The bartender asks: "What's with the big pause?"
The bear responds: "I dunno. I've always had them."


A great dane, a scotty, and a chihuahua were sitting in a bar, knocking
back a few,
when a beautiful bitch walked in.
"Okay, boys," she purred. "I'll make a very happy dog out of whoever can
come up with
the best proposition, using the words 'cheese' and 'liver'."
The great dane thought a moment, then stated: "I don't like cheese, but
I sure like
liver, and I like you, too!" He panted and wagged his tail.
The lady just looked away.
The scotty immediately said "I like cheese, and I like liver, AND I like
you!" and
wagged his tail expectantly.
She ignored him.
Then the chihuahua growled "Liver alone! Cheese with me."
They left together.


What's the opposite of 'omniscient'?
I don't know.


These two blokes are lost in the Sahara desert. They're desperate for
water, but just
as they think they're about to die, they chance upon a village where
market day is in
full swing. They go to the first stall they see and ask if they can buy
some water.
"No," replies the Bedouin stall owner, "I only sell fruit. Try the next
stall."
So off they go to the next stall and again they ask for water.
"Sorry," says the merchant, "But I only sell custard."
"Custard?" one of the blokes says to the other, "What kind of place is
this?"
By now desperate, they go to the next stall, only to be told, "Sorry,
but I only sell
jelly."
Hearing this, one of the blokes turns to the other and says, "This is a
trifle
bazaar."


What do you call a woodpecker that has lost its beak?
A headbanger!


These three blokes are being treated for their stuttering by a gorgeous
female speech
therapist. She's finding it impossible to make any progress with the
three men and so
she decides to try a reward system. She tells the three that she will
have sex with
anyone of them who can tell her where he was born without stuttering.
The first bloke stands up and says, "B-B-B-B-Belf-f-f-f-ast." and sits
down in
disappointment.
The second bloke gets up and says, "D-D-D-Dublin." and also sits down
sadly.
The third bloke stands up and says, "London." In amazement the therapist
immediately
grabs him and takes him into the next room.
After half an hour they return with the bloke having a stupid, satisfied
grin on his
face. Before restarting the session the therapist asks if there's
anything that any
of the men would like to say. The third bloke raises his hand and says,
"d-d-d-d-erry."


A farmer goes to town to run his usual errands. He has a pig, an anvil,
a bucket and
a chicken. He's thinking to himself, "Now, how am I going to carry a
pig, an anvil, a
bucket and a chicken." So he thinks about it for a bit, and decides to
carry the
bucket, put the pig in the bucket, place the anvil on top of the pig and
carry the
chicken under his other arm.
So his trudges into town carrying his load, when a pretty girl admiring
his physique
says, "Sir, do you know the way to the fabric store?"
The farmer smiles, and says, "Follow me down this alley, I'll be going
right past
it."
The girl says, "If I follow you down this alley, you might molest me."
The farmer says, "How could I molest you? I'm carrying a pig, an anvil,
a bucket and
a chicken."
The girl quickly follows, "Well, you could put the pig down, place the
bucket over
the pig, place the anvil on top of the bucket, and I could hold the
chicken."


This bloke takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says to him, "My dog's
cross-eyed. Is
there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," say the vet, "Let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. After pausing
for a while to
think, the vet says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"Just because he's cross-eyed?" exclaims the bloke.
"No," replies the vet, "Because he's heavy."


A man buys a horse from an old man.
The old man says, "The only catch is that this horse loves sitting on
watermelons. If
he sees a watermelon, he's going to sit on it." The man says OK. As he's
riding his
horse, he comes along a stream.
The horse stops in midstream and sits down. The man beats the horse, but
the horse
refuses to budge. The man pushes and shoves the horse, but the horse
refuses to move.
Finally the man drags the horse out of the river and brings him back to
the old man.
"I don't understand," the man says. "He sat down in the middle of the
river and
refused to budge. You told me he likes to sit on watermelons, so I don't
understand
why he was sitting in the middle of the river."
"I forgot," the old man said, "he also likes to sit on fish."


These three Legionnaires are walking through the desert under a baking
sun. They're
fully equipped with enough water for days and food aplenty.
On the shimmering horizon, mirages come and go and come again. They see
visions of
swimming pools attended by dusky maidens and stalls full of ice creams
and sorbets of
every conceivable flavour. But the Legionnaires do not crack. Instead
they keep
marching solidly on.
Suddenly one of them freezes. "Psssst," he says. His companions halt and
strain their
eyes to where the first Legionnaire is pointing.
"Le voila," he says, "Regardez, mes amis, isn't zat a bacon tree on ze
'orizon?"
And sure enough, there it is, proud and defiant in the middle of the
desert, a true
bacon tree. Slowly they creep forward towards the far off mystery
object. Inch by
inch, centimetre by centimetre, until they are within a stone's throw of
the bacon
tree. Ever nearer they creep, until suddenly a shot rings out, dropping
one of the
Legionnaires in his tracks. The other Legionnaires hit the ground as
bullets thud
into the sand around them.
The other two return fire and give first aid to their wounded companion.
Even as they
bandage him and pour water over his face they can hear his faint voice.
"Zat was no
bacon tree," he gasps, "Zat was an 'am bush."


An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction
site. The
foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy,
"You're in charge
of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you
guys to make a
dent in that there pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the
pile of sand is
untouched.
He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian
replies, "I no
hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he a wasa in a
charge of
supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, And you, I thought I
told you to
shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a
shoovel! Ye
left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin'
him either."
The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand
to look for
the Chinese guy ... Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the
pile of sand
and yells... "SUPPLIES!!!"


Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack,
bring it home,
and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last
beer, the
doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach
standing there.
The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then
left.
The next night, after he finished his fourth beer, the doorbell rang. He
walked
slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there.
The big bug
punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his first beer, the doorbell rang
again. The same
six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time he was kneed in the
groin and hit
behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.
The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. the doorbell rang. The
cockroach was
standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a
heap on the
living room floor.
The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained the events
of the
preceding four nights.
"What can I do?" he pleaded.
"Not much," the doctor replied. "There's just a nasty bug going around."



A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put
his head out
the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand.
He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman
looking down.
"Is this yours?" he asked.
She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the man agreed.
On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As
she was very
attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, "I'm about to have
dinner. There's
plenty; would you like to join me?"
He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the
evening was
drawing to a close the lady said, "I've had a marvellous evening. Would
you like to
stay the night?"
The man hesitated then said, "Do you act like this with every man you
meet?"
"No," she replied, "only those who catch my eye."


The Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with
everything."


[The following, possibly apocryphal story appeared in the Glasgow
Herald.]
Lord George Brown, when the band struck up at an embassy function,
asked: "Beautiful
lady in scarlet, will you waltz with me?"
"Certainly not," was the reply. "First, you are drunk. Second, it is not
a waltz, but
the Venezuelan national anthem; and third, I am not a beautiful lady in
scarlet, but
the papal nuncio."


Heard in an East German department store:
Customer: Don't you have any shoes here?
Salesman: No, we don't have any furniture, here. No shoes is one floor
down.


What do you call 20 Mancunians in a filing cabinet?
Sorted!


"Doctor, Doctor - I have a problem. I can't stop singing "The Green
Green Grass of
Home" and "Delilah".
"Sounds like you have a severe case of Tom Jones Syndrome.
"Is it rare?"
"Well, it's not unusual."


A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender looks puzzled and says, "No."
Duck asks the same question. "Got any grapes?"
"No, this is a bar. We don't have any grapes," the bartender says.
The duck again asks, "Got any grapes?"
The bartender loses it. "Listen, we don't have any grapes. Now get out
of
here. And if you come back again, I'll take a hammer and nails and nail
your friggin' webbed feet to the floor."
The duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns. "You got any nails?"
The bartender says, "No."
The duck perks up. "Got any grapes?"


Q: What's worse: ignorance or apathy?
A: I don't know and I don't care.


[Notice on an Internet newsgroup] I have met a person who is writing a
book on UFOs,
and wants to have a chapter on UFO encounters by pets. If your pets have
had such
experiences, please contact me by private email, and I can get you in
contact with
the author.
"I hit a cat with a Zippo one time because it was considering going
after a bird. The
cat didn't know what it was. Does that count?"


A man went to see his doctor. "Doctor, my arm keeps talking to me," he
said.
"Don't be ridiculous," said the doctor.
"No, really! Listen to it!"
So the doctor put his head next to the man's arm and listened.
"Come on, give us a fiver!" said the arm.
"It's OK," said the doctor. "It's just broke."

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Ranma & Akane
Happy Birthday to my dad who has reached the big "85" today.

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Ranma & Akane
.

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Ranma & Akane
^__^

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Ranma & Akane
Good Morning :o)

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