Luna & Artemis


 Info  Votes  Messages  More Stats  Up One Level
Vote
First Prev Page 21 of 49 Next Last

Luna & Artemis
Enjoythe Day.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527001


Luna & Artemis
^__^

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527060


Luna & Artemis
A New Medical Condition:

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying
home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What is anal glaucoma?"


"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527240


Luna & Artemis
TGIF

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527266


Luna & Artemis
Twelve Rants for 2006

1 Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason
you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't
particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain
of the football team is doing these days: he's mowing my lawn.

2 Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're
a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was
found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar.
What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a
finger! If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep
it alive.


3 Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blond
teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for
these kids: lucky bastards.


4 Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about
your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.


5 The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole.
If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy,
half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino,
extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-'jamesn'-Low and one
NutraSweet," Ooooh, you're a huge asshole.


6 Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly
sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating,
because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too
damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait.
They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."


7 If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old
television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a
remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's
remember the reason something was a television show is that the
idea wasn't good enough to be a movie in the first place.

8 No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings.
Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for
you isn't gift giving. It's the middle upper class white people
version of looting.


9 This one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip
up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex
with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be
there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your
web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands and get the hell out.


10 When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in
months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a
cheese. And I didn't really give a damn in the first place.


11 Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make
you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it
translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything
spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're
not spiritual. You're just high.


12 There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of
this crap at the supermarket, "water, but without that watery
taste". Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You
want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt.
Now that's flavored water.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527281


Luna & Artemis
^_^

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527413


Luna & Artemis
Have a fun Afternoon.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527544


Luna & Artemis
Have Fun Dreams.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527630


Luna & Artemis
^__^ Good Morning

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527730


Luna & Artemis
^__^

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=527891


Luna & Artemis
Good Morning.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528021


Luna & Artemis
:o)

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528180


Luna & Artemis
Good Morning

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528287


Luna & Artemis
^_^

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528463


Luna & Artemis
Good Night.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528559


Luna & Artemis
Good Morning

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528697


Luna & Artemis
Good Evening.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528802


Luna & Artemis
TGIF :o)

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=528858


Luna & Artemis
Good Morning

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=529118


Luna & Artemis
^__^

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=529228

First Prev Page 21 of 49 Next Last

[Click Here to Login]
Don't have a login? Register!