Luna & Artemis

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Luna & Artemis
******Count Stars Tonight*****

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Luna & Artemis
******Count Stars Tonight********

Date:
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Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=519529

Luna & Artemis
Have a Fun Day.

Date:
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Luna & Artemis
^__^

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Luna & Artemis
Good Morning ^___^

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Luna & Artemis
more funnies.

The Pope is visiting Washington, D.C., and President Bush
takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac, cruising on
the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia. They're admiring the
sights when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto)
blows off his head and out into the water.

Secret Service guys start to launch a boat, but President
Bush waves them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of
this. Don't worry."

Bush then steps off the yacht onto the surface of the water
and walks out to the Holy Father's little hat, bends over,
picks it up, and then walks back to the yacht and climbs
aboard. He hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.

The next morning, the headlines in the New York Times,
Boston Globe, Atlanta Constitution, Washington Post, Boston
Herald, Buffalo News, Houston Chronicle, Milwaukee
Sentinel-Journal, Minneapolis Tribune, Denver Post,
Albuquerque Journal, Los Angeles Times, and San Francisco
Chronicle all proclaim: "Bush Can't Swim!"


I own several dogs and & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What else would you do with Purina?
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking myself and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack! He was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Date:
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Luna & Artemis
Good Morning.

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=519794

Luna & Artemis
The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women


#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN




The Value of a Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards
and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over
and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically

converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
to
his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as

fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest
and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural
selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of
the
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest
members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
brain
cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells,
making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you
always
feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering
when you are not
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And last but not least...Huh?....

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=519849

Luna & Artemis
good night

Date:
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Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=519919

Luna & Artemis
Good Morning

Date:
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Luna & Artemis
Enjoy the Day. ^__^

Date:
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Luna & Artemis
Good Morning. TGIF

Date:
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Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=520121

Luna & Artemis
Beautiful Moon out tonight.

Date:
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Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=520169

Luna & Artemis
Hugs Good Morning

Date:
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Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=520192

Luna & Artemis
=^_^= Happy Afternoon =^_^=

Date:
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Luna & Artemis
qv

Date:
By: (Trustworthy User)
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Luna & Artemis
good to see you in here too.

Date:
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Luna & Artemis
=^_^=

Date:
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Luna & Artemis
=^_^=

Date:
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Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=520383

Luna & Artemis
=^_^=

Date:
By: (Reputable User)
Link to this vote: http://www.excelsis.com/1.0/displayvote.php?voteid=520408

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